Insomnia
by Lupinfangirl
Summary: A sleepless night gets Tonks out of bed and causes her to confront her darkest secret. Rated T for mature-ish content, but nothing explicit. NT/RL
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Nymphadora Tonks couldn't sleep. Even though she was exhausted from work and guard duty all week, she tossed and turned in bed for nearly an hour. She tried counting sheep—the oldest trick in the book—and got bored by the time she reached 95. She tried to make up a story to entertain herself, but of course her imagination chose that moment to fail her.

Tonks sighed and glanced at her watch. 1:37 AM: only seven more hours or so till morning. Suddenly she got an idea. When her father couldn't sleep, he would always get up and read until he felt sleepy. The young Auror got out of bed and, taking her wand, made her careful place to the Grimmauld Place library.

She arrived without tripping, slipping, or knocking anything over, a truly remarkable feat for her, especially given the lateness of the hour. Tonks spotted a copy of _Magical Me _by Gilderoy Lockhart on one of the shelves near the door, and realized with a smile that Molly Weasley must have been in here recently. She has heard plenty of stories about the dumb prat from Ginny and Hermione, and picked up the book to see for herself whether he really was as stupid as the girls said.

Tonks settled herself on the couch and was about to open the book, when she heard a distinct rattling sound coming from the old mahogany desk. "Probably a stray doxy or something," she thought to herself. Without thinking, the witch opened the top drawer of the desk…and gasped in horror as she saw what was making the rattling noise.

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Tonks reached for her wand, her heart beating wildly in her chest, as the boggart in the form of her uncle, Lucius Malfoy, came at her.

"My beautiful niece," said Lucius with his trademark sneer, a sadistic gleam in his eyes. "How good to be alone with you again."

"Riddikulus!" Tonks yelled, pointing her wand at him, while trying with all her might to think of how to turn the boggart into something funny, and failing.

"Come on, sweetie, it doesn't have to be like this," Lucius purred, still sneering. "I know you like our little meetings. Someday I'll do it, you know."

"No! Riddikulus! _Riddikulus_!" Tonks shouted, though she knew it wouldn't have an effect. Her hair turned white, as it always did when she was extremely scared, and she shook so badly, she could barely stand.

"Nymphadora…you're lucky to be my little bitch…"

At that moment, the library door burst open and Remus Lupin ran in, looking concerned. He was wearing a white T-shirt with pajama pants, and his hair was rumpled.

"Nymphadora!" he exclaimed, seeing Tonks and how frightened she was. Lupin's gaze then turned to Malfoy, who instantly vanished, and was replaced by a full moon. "Riddikulus!" Remus said firmly, and the boggart disappeared with a loud crack.

With the boggart thus dispatched, Lupin was then able to turn his full attention to Tonks. Taking her, he guided her to the couch and sat down next to her.

"Nymphadora, are you all right?" he asked softly, putting a hand on her shoulder. Tonks was still shaking, though not as much. She turned away from Remus in embarrassment. Being discovered by him, of all people, in such a state and over a _boggart. _Boggarts are something third-years dealt with, and she was an Auror. But the worst part was Remus knowing her biggest fear.

"Thank you," she mumbled. "I'm fine."

"Look at me," Remus said. Tonks looked into his blue-gray eyes, filled with compassion. "You can talk to me about whatever is bothering you, you know. I'm here for you."

Tonks' eyes filled with tears on hearing his kind words, and before she could stop herself, she was sobbing loudly, giving vent to all the emotions that she kept to herself for so long. Lupin took Tonks in his arms, and stroked her hair, which was gradually changing from white to a mousy brown, as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Shhh, it's okay…You'll be all right," Remus said softly. "Whatever it is, I'll help you."

"You c-can't!" Tonks managed to choke out between sobs. "He's b-b-been doing th-that for years! He would come in-into my room and-and t-touch me! And he al-always s-s-said that eventually he would…he would…"She couldn't even say it, and buried her face into Remus' shoulder once again.

For a moment, Lupin froze, stunned at what he had just heard. Tonks, too, was shocked at having blurted out her darkest secret to Remus, when mere moments ago, she was certain that she would never tell anyone. Her face flushed with the realization, and she looked at Remus, who looked both shocked and angry.

"Tonks," he finally said hoarsely. "I-I don't know what to say…Have you, uh, told anyone?"

Tonks shook her head. "You're the first. I was so embarrassed that I never had the courage to stop him, and now I can't even deal with a boggart. I'm a pathetic excuse for an Auror, that's what I am." She rubbed her eyes, wiping away fresh tears.

"Don't say that," Remus said, looking straight at her. "You are one of the most intelligent people I know, and are an invaluable member of the Order."

"That's nice of you to say, Remus, but I couldn't even force my bloody uncle to back off!"

"Tonks, you've been through a horrible ordeal," Remus said gently. "Give yourself some permission to be human. Don't blame yourself; it's Malfoy who has the problem, and he deserves to face the consequences."

The Auror sat back on the couch, laying her head on Lupin's shoulder. "I don't think that would be easy," she sighed heavily. "It hasn't happened since I was about sixteen, and I have no proof, so it's my word against his. And the bastard is highly respected in the Wizarding community, so I guess I'm doomed to nightmares for the rest of my life." Tonks said with a bitter smile.

"We'll think of something," Remus said, kissing her forehead and pulling her close. "I promise you that scumbag will pay for what he did."

Tonks smiled. "Thank you so much, Remus. I'm glad I told you; I feel better already." She turned her hair back to her usual pink spikes, to illustrate her point.

Lupin grinned too, and ran a hand over he spikes. "Anytime, Nymphadora."

Tonks leaned back again, still grinning to herself, and soon they both fell into a deep sleep in each other's arms. That night, Tonks dreamed of Sirius and Remus hexing Lucius by making him speak in rhymes for the rest of his life. She was glad to have Marauder friends.

The End


End file.
